I've moved through most of my life believing I was both the problem and the solution.
I carried this sense of anticipated rejection, a feeling that I was both never enough and too much.
Not perfect enough.
And definitely too sharp, too intense.
Not a good enough friend, daughter, student, sister, neighbor, wife, mother, woman, person.
Too self-conscious, too overbearing, too stubborn, too self-centered, too uncool, too quiet, too loud, too small, too controlling.
What I clearly needed to do was to fix the situation, fix the relationship, fix the other person's struggles, fix everything--all by fixing me.
Here's the thing:
I know I'm not alone in this.
The items on the lists could be swapped out infinitely and applied to everyone.
I'm sure you've felt this exact way before, too:
Sure that somehow, there's something about you that must change and then everything would finally work out the way it's supposed to.
If I could just get this right, everything would be okay.
My heart breaks when I sit with just how many of us carry that kind of weight around.
I better not be the first one to tell you this, but it is always worth repeating:
There is nothing wrong with you.
You do not need to be fixed.
You are not the problem. And the solution isn't yours alone.
What IS the real issue here? How have so many of us come to feel this way, believe this way, operate this way?
By design.
We live inside a system that is designed to keep everyone inside it, loyal to it, blindly following its rules.
Patriarchy requires individuals to always point to themselves as the problem, never patriarchy.
Oppressive systems thrive by keeping people small. Afraid. Unsure. Self-blaming. Isolated. Powerless.
Since patriarchy is the structure of our current society, it shapes so many layers of culture that we exist within: families, local communities, religions, education, commerce, government, relationships, etc etc etc.
Patriarchy is the very air we breathe.
And patriarchy loooooooooves to see us spinning on our hamster wheels of self-blame.
If we're pointing to ourselves as the problem and the solution, patriarchy is free to carry on exploiting and oppressing us.
Patriarchy has long been afraid of women's power.
We are a threat to the system.
So it has forced us into tiny boxes of acceptability, tamed our wildness, demonized our desires, shamed our bodies, denied our intuition, caged our spirits, stripped our freedom, twisted our strengths into weakness, and sneered at us through the bars of that cage.
But, but, but:
The juiciest secret is that what is most feared and hated points exactly to the key to changing everything.
So what might change if we stepped right out of that cage?
You tell me.
What will change for you when you find your teeth?
What will irrevocably shift when you let go of second-guessing yourself?
What might come next for you when you let yourself sink into your desires?
What is waiting for you when you reclaim your voice, your body, your way of moving through the world?
What will happen when you stop fearing your power?
What version of yourself will bloom when you cut the connection to the voice telling you that you are the problem?
What will it feel like to move through the world anchored into your aliveness?
What will drop away when you claim, in every single moment, every single decision, that you are your own authority?
And root into the peace of knowing that you can trust yourself?
What will change for you?
It's time to find out. 🐺
SHEWOLF is an expansive + immersive group journey designed to lead you back home to your instinctual, uncaged self.
We're reclaiming our wildness as strength and our inner fire as irrefutably needed at this time in our personal lives and the collective.
We're going on a soul pilgrimage through the holy book Women Who Run With the Wolves, reading one chapter per month, and gathering in Sandy, Utah to dive deep into the archetypal wisdom of the myths and stories.
We're applying them to OUR personal mythology, excavating and exploring the threads of these powerful myths in our own lived histories.
Beyond that, we'll be engaging with the concepts on a deeply embodied level, bringing the stories out of our minds and into our bodies through ceremony, guided meditation and yoga nidra, movement and yoga, creative writing and art, and so much more!
Each month's 3-hour immersive gathering is a sacred feminine embodiment ceremony within a closed, intimate group for optimal connection and depth.
This is where we greet our inner Wild Woman, explore the depths of all we've hidden from ourselves, all that's been stripped from us, and practice our wildness so we can bring it out of the circle and into our own lives so we can be more embodied, more sovereign, more OURSELVES.
And definitely more acquainted with our own power.
Which is exactly what is needed right now 🔥
Come back home to yourself. No more hiding. ❤️